If all of my lectures in Schulich’s MBA program are going to be as engaging and insightful as this one, then this blog may soon transform into a series of learnings and golden nuggets of wisdom derived from these lectures (coupled with photography, of course, whether relevant or irrelevant). Top school, top professors. I was at Schulich’s Smart Start orientation event yesterday and I am as excited as I am nervous to embark on this journey. I’ll be spreading myself quite thin across all of my commitments so we’ll see what this girl is made of.
I learned about the “Yes and…” tool in yesterday’s mini lecture with Stephen Friedman and would like to make a conscious effort to incorporate this tool into my daily conversations with people going forward. Instead of saying, “That’s a good idea but…” or “That makes sense but…”, you should form a habit to say,
“Yes, that’s a good idea and…”
“Yes, that makes sense and…”
“But” is a Buzz Killington and “However” is “But” in a tuxedo (I can’t take credit for the tuxedo bit – that was Friedman’s). Both words essentially suck when it comes to encouraging a thought / idea because they are actually a “No” and “I don’t like your idea” in disguise. You’ll notice that when we use the word “but”, the receiver of the message goes into defence mode. It’s just not the right word.
“I dare you” to use the “Yes and…” tool, he says. “And see how your conversations change; see how it changes the way you think; how you argue with people; how you relate to other people; how you resolve things.”